Swing that hammer!

Its a new year and my husband and I have undertaken a small project together. We have decided to remove our existing rock fireplace hearth and cover the rock with something more modern. The last 2 days we have actually had fun taking turns with the chisel and hammer and its been therapeutic for both of us. This is the first chance we have had to do a home improvement project since his diagnosis over a year ago. I will post photos soon and you will see what has made me soooooo sore!

The new year holds plenty of promise for excitement....my older teen daughter now has her driver's permit...and this time next year the younger one will as well! Life is always interesting with teen girls! We all had a great Christmas and enjoyed each other over the new year. I love the fact that I can have an adult conversation with my kids now and I truly enjoy hearing their points of view on issues. My job is in guiding them on how to best express those opinions.

I am getting there!

I have figured out that when you have a child with a strong personality that its a constant battle to remain in control. It doesn't have to be a battle, it just needs to be a constant work in progress. My youngest is very independent, strong and out to prove she can do it all. (I have NOOOO earthly idea where she gets that from!) There was a time when she spent a lot of time with friends this summer and it did affect her attitude. When forced to spend more time with family, she is reluctant at first but quickly returns to the goofy girl we all know. As a parent I can see how the outside influences affected her and know better where that fine line is concerning time with friends. Our neighborhood is an open place where kids play freely and with all the "stuff" we have been through this summer we allowed her to play when she wanted as long as chores were done. In retrospect we see that it may have been just a bit too much time away from family influences. This is a lesson for us as parents and we are very happy to have it earlier in her teen years than later!

I am working on finding another cool recipe to post, I just have not been real creative in the kitchen lately. I did get a bread machine and have been playing with that....its kinda cheating but it sure makes the house smell good. I may never have to buy another candle with that thing cranking out its warm goodness!

Life with TEENS

Life with teens.......its amazing that any of us ever lived past it! Our youngest has been pushing limits and has just pushed too far. She is now feeling the effects of being pushed back and isn't liking it much. She had been warned and is now regretting her decision to be rebellious. I think she was more hurt that she made dad that mad and disappointed. That is a good thing but it really is a stinky way to spend Labor Day weekend! I was very proud of both of us - we didn't even raise our voices when we laid down the law. We had company and also had to deal with this.....oh well, cie la vie.

My hubby has been cleared to do pretty much whatever he wants as long as there aren't a bunch of people around. He went to the driving range at the golf course last week and did pretty well. The golf course gave him a free round of golf for his birthday so we are going tomorrow to chase the little white ball. His doctor is very happy with his decision to start swimming and golfing again. He also said there will be no need for physical therapy at this point but he will also always have to deal with the occasional stress fracture due to his weak bones. That is just one of the things you deal with when you have multiple myeloma.

I passed my state insurance exams and am just waiting for sales school to start later in the month. So for right now, I am in limbo and just dealing with life. I do have my hands full even with the lull in the new career but am also excited to get it started.

BAD cell phone policy

School is in session and all seems to be going well. I still have issues with the cell phone policy at the middle school but all I can do is voice my opinion. Last year they started the school year with an out-of-sight and out-of-mind attitude towards cell phones. That lasted about 1/2 the year and some kids were doing some less than desirable things with their phones. You are gonna have that no matter where you are or what age. The school changed their policy mid-year and banned ALL cell phones on school grounds during school hours. The students are not even allowed to have them in their lockers/backpacks turned off. If they are caught in possession of one they will be written up.

I agree that cell phones have no place in school, especially for middle school kids. But I will have to say that for students with after school activities they are a useful tool. I disagree with the ruling that a student cannot even possess a cell phone even if it is turned off. If a student is searched, PROPERLY, and a cell phone is found and is ON, then write them up. But if the student is complying and keeping the device off, please don't punish them.

We experienced this last year. Our youngest daughter had an old cell phone she was using because her other one died. Well this phone died too and was still in her backpack. It was not even a functioning cell phone at the time a search was performed of her backpack. The teacher soon learned that it didn't even turn on and when they found out it was not functioning that teacher proceeded to throw it away right there in the classroom. That should never have happened! Our daughter was written up for having the phone in her possession. It didn't bother me as much then as it does now since I have had a chance to think on it.

I believe the policy should allow for devices as long as they are out-of-sight and OFF. If a student is caught during school hours with a device ON, then punishment should be in order. This is an age where kids are starting to find their identities and earn trust from their superiors. How can they earn a little bit of trust if they are never given a chance. I don't believe that the school is doing any favors by treating these kids like they are guilty before they ever have a chance of going anything wrong. Maybe punishment for offenders, especially when doing something undesirable, needs to be more harsh but let them have the chance to prove themselves....It has worked for the high school and they are managing 2300 students!

School Starts 2009

It's official...the kiddos started school today. They were understandably excited, anxious and even a little scared. My freshman is starting a school with nearly 2300 students - the largest she has even seen. She told me that her school was larger than the mall and that was just wrong! My 8th grader is headed back to rule the school and was excited about seeing all her friends. I am just happy to have my house back during the day! They have been driving each other crazy all summer and it will be interesting to see how they react to each other now that they head in opposite directions every day.

I have one more night of insurance class and then time to study before I schedule my state exams. I am preparing to enter the mighty world of insurance and am excited for this change as well. This is a whole new thing for all of us but I know I can do it and am ready for a career. This will also allow me to set my own schedule so I am not a slave to a cubicle and I can be available for the kid's activities.

My husband is preparing for a little more alone time but since the Dr. said he can get out more I am also expecting him to get a life again. We have several neighbors that are home during the day and they always have a "project" going on and some trips to the community center and pool could be good for him too.

We are hoping to get back out to the coast again soon. Maybe a trip down to Wilmington since I have not been there yet. This photo was taken in New Bern, NC spring break this year when we stopped for lunch downtown. We were only traveling thru but hope to be back next summer for their 300th anniversary. There was a lot of construction going on to prepare but it is one very cool town....its also the birthplace of Pepsi Cola. Check out the official website for the celebration.
http://www.newbern300th.com/

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Sorry its been a few days since I last left any thoughts but I have been having technical difficulties with my internet. All is solved and I have had extra time to ponder this topic. Respect is not something deserved, it is earned. Respect is the product of a mutual relationship involving communication and understanding. A married couple has to work at all of these to maintain their relationship and so do parents with their children.

I have noticed that the respect breaks down soon after the communication does. This happens especially fast when teenagers are involved! Teenagers, at least mine, require constant communication. When there is any waivering of the parent's ability to remain consistent or to maintain the communication, the teenager tends to replace it with things from the outside world. I am NOT saying that we, as parents, must hover over them every moment. I am saying that the ideals and morals that we expect them to live by must be reinforced constantly.

Teenagers like to do things on their own - Don't we all. But when expectations are cloudy the result may be less than desired. When the rules are not clear there will always be loopholes. Respect for their parents comes when a teen is held accountable for living by those rules set forth. Teens are living their lives trying to push limits just to see what will happen and this undeniably causes them a little stress. If they don't have to push the limits within their own home and they know what is and is not allowed it reduces stress at home for everyone.

This is an observation I am making as a new parent of teenagers and my husband and I are far from perfect at it. We are trying. We are communicating. We are setting limits. We do it with lots of love. Our end result......It will be good. If their hearts are full --- Their lives will be full.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.